Wait For Me, I'm Busy Laughing

I read this and realised that laughing my guts out was not a pleasent feeling. Do note the last line- Discover the excitement and pleasure of having gorgeous, horny women automatically drawn to you like a magnet.

Recursive Diarrohea

"However, during the course of shooting and editing, a series of persistent and eventually overpowering centrifugal impulses disrupted the original schema, and discontinuities brought to light through this process prompted a decision to allow the material to splinter into a series of shorter texts, more widely discursive and more tenuously linked, each contributing towards a larger general exploration of the role/s and processes of narrativizing in our lives."
That was written on some site about some project. Reminded me of the mathematical lemma that never quite entered my head. I've always wondered what made people talk in a manner that meant including incomprehensible words and turn of phrase in their writing. The more prominent artists (culprits!) who indulge in this are playwrights and feature writers or critics. Is simple expression dead? Are these complex sentences used to seperate the normal people from the 'enlightened' ones?

Have A Read

Would there be any takers for a site that
-Offers the reader a wide variety of content, written and visual. A magazine online but because it is online it will support what is very enthusiastically called 'rich media' as well
-Has a certain irreverant tinge to it and is a platform for ideas.
-Is updated daily and is something you can update and customise as well.
-Goes by the name Offguard, but has absolutely no left or right leanings.
-Does a lot more than any publication in any medium has ever done for its readers and this at no cost whatsoever.
-No spoiling the site's look with unweildy ad bars or towers.

Tell me if anyone is kicked about this. You can mail me at mithunk(at)gmail(dot)com
I've had one aborted attempt at this but this time it must work out. Also if anyone knows a very good Java Script programmer or Ajax manipulator could you get me in touch with them?

We Be Burning

How can you not fall for someone who says

To use my hips as a fulcrum
You are always wellcum

hah!

The New Bond Movie Is All Tosh

Yeah he's back and he is blond. So what? After 5 of them and especially George 'I can shag the life out of Bella Starr' Lazenby who gives a damn about who plays Bond? The islanders do because its the only time they are the smarter lot and Langley is left licking the leftovers, but then this isn't about Bond. Daniel Craig can be all craggy and gritty (wait, wasn't Timothy Dalton all that?) but he still can't manage enough punch, with all his brawn, to hold up this overhyped 'if you've seen the trailer you've pretty much seen the film' Bond card game fiasco. Yes, you can quote me there. The movie may go on an rake in millions but apart from the chase (on foot, mind you) in Madagascar, the rest can be best described as a pre-title sequence.
The plot looks like its made of ceramic. No matter how hard you try to twist it, it stays firm and looks supeficial. Oh and it is very delicate as well, which is where the Eon Productions goofed up. They should've printed 'Handle With Care' in bold red before tossing it over to Martin Campbell. By the end of the film you're left picking up the fragments and piecing it together only to find a dour looking finger bowl when you expected an exquisitely crafted antique vase or some such richly complicated turn of the century piece of art.
It was to be a reboot, much like Christopher Nolan's 'Batman Begins', but I feel Martin Campbell overestimated himself here. A reboot does mean going back to the drawing board and trying to breathe in a fresh perspective, but it certainly does not mean serving up a 2 hour poker game in the guise of a spy thriller, I'd rather watch 'Rounders' all over again.
The actors, apart from Daniel Craig, who has much to prove yet, were quite rudimentary. Le Chiffre can weep copius amounts of blood and try and act icy but someone who looks at Bond's beefy, naked body and goes 'Wow' is hardly the super villian I am used to. This may be Bond's first outing as a super spy but it was my 21st and I'm used to the calculating and heartless villians that dotted the earlier flicks. Think Max Zorin, Scaramanga hell even Gustav Graves with his diamond acned Zao had more menace than this accountant ('Banker to the world's terrorists' says M) who can't keep his cards straight and his boss Mr White. Wonder if Tarantino is suing for copyright violation here.
Bond falls in love, as he will in numerous future escapades, but acts as if he is done loving and giving after his beloved Vesper goes down the elevator shaft, into the murky waters of Venice. He also tenders his resignation, pouts like a school boy and laughs while his nuts are being cracked. But he doesn't manage to grip me or make me believe he is the same 007 that Ian Fleming crafted and Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan essayed with such ease.
I suppose Eon Productions would do well to hand over the direction duties to Roberto Rodriguez the next time they want a reboot, a little bit of white gunk masquerading as blood may to the trick. In the words of Daniel Craig's other alter ego Conner Rooney, Casino Royale was 'fucking hysterical'.

About Neelkanth And Questions

If all my posts started with 'I' they'd just remain that, my posts. If they began with a question they'd still not tickle your fancy. (I'm extremely ticklish and some people respect that.)
Is it too 'unmacho' to be ticklish? Macho sounds like an abuse anyway. Saala Macho. Hah, I'm normal. The complexities do not come until much later. Prerna would know. She has been through one of the most expressive phases of my life (as yet). People would normally get excited about an err...exciting trip. I would be as staid as cattle chewing cud. "Yum yum...so trip good good..." That exasperates people. Using the general term 'people' also irritates some. Where do I duck? What gets your goose cooked? Where did that phrase come from?
Some smart song says that paradise is how you feel for a moment. So is orgasm a paradise? A friend of mine, who was a med student (I have science in my corner), told me how she thought that an orgasm actually got people closer to God, or at least that is what a few cultures believed in. Hmm that is why we go "Aaah God, I'm coming!!!" Because you have the license to lick God when you do come, highly male dominated societies decided, 'Ta da, supress the women.' Make the missionary the de facto 'I Do' position so that they can never come close to Him or anyone and are put off by the whole In-Out, In-Out (Bharat Petroleum runs a chain of convenience stores called In & Out, PSUs I tell you). Come to think of it, people say 'I do' in a marriage ceremony.
Padre- So Virgin Mary do you take this man..
Virgin Mary- I do
Padre- And Joseph do you take this woman..
God- I did
Anyway, if a priest is someone who shows people the path to enlightenment or brings them closer to God and the above theory is true, then celibacy for the padre was a bad idea anyway. And maybe a few little boys saw more of God in Republican America.
Blasphemy!! Not the fact that God, you know, was intrumental in an immaculate conception but the fact that I write about padres and the comings and goings of paedophiles.
Once when I had to write a comeptitive essay about success and happiness I went on a spiritual tangent and said everything is Maya anyway, so why worry. I got a 97 percentile in that test. This doesn't work with normal life though. So am I normal? Better than being a Macho...saala macho.
So what gets Shiva blue in the face?

Falling Rabbits

Did you knowtice the new look? You wouldn't if you came in here for the first time.
The first time I asked a girl out I went "Er...I'm not sure...but I think I like you. Take your (yesh this is where the confidence came rushing back) time and tell me if we can...." The rest would've been the cliche that the world knows about.
About me, that's the most difficult section in any personal form. I can talk about things and give you my perspective but 'about me' is a little tricky.
Technology is not tricky, people who don't want to use it are. After all the business I want to start is based almost entirely on technology. It involves giving people what they want, to the last 'T', maybe.
Maybe I am a megalomaniac, maybe I'm just built to be a philosopher or statesman, doing no work, giving people perspectives where not many exist. Maybe I should've studied a little and gotten into an IVY league.
My first day at college was quite the same like my 2nd and a few more days after that. Then something called quizzing happened. I quizzed my way to a lot of money, thanks mainly to my quizzing partner, she was brilliant. The one-off quizzes were the ones that gave us all the money but the ones at the festivals were the fun ones.
College festivals took up most of my time in college, which meant a very bad attendance record, umpteen undertakings and becoming the Cult Sec of the college. The Cult Soc at college taught me how to ideate with a group, manage a group and compete under immense pressure. It also taught me that some of the college authorities including the principal are the reason why the country is in such a bad shape.
Can a beanpole ever go out of shape?

Cow Shall Not

Its a theory I have. If you seat your seat in a place that has no seat and people are inconvenienced, they will just navigate around you. You won't be disturbed. If, however, you 'stand in their way', you will be pushed, shoved or maybe, depending on the amount of action they get, politely asked to shift base.

Bebop Tumble

Walk in the moonlight so that I can see you sigh
Waltz in the moon light so I can drink your style
Light up the screen like all you can see is infamy
Chew on the belief and then know that there is just me

Broken Fields

Smiles flattered and haunted
Ropes sinewed and knotted
Did you feel the fright as the stranger (I) slipped past in the night

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Words fly around in unsupported randomness
Forget the child not or the impressed happiness
A rock at a time tumbles the toes by
The child spreads its wings and believes the lie
Water dark and icy rages below,
The child free and cheerful falls in slow

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Beached, drunken, stripped and sunken
A whiff takes me to the plane unspoken
Slender thoughts and lissome glance,
The simple plesaures of the surreal lands

Plug Me In

There are a few magazines that, I think, are the reason why people still hanker for the printed word. Wired in one of them, brilliant layout, amazing photographs and feature pieces that you'd want to file for future references. There, however, is a niggling problem with the magazine. It has an unenviable track record of non-delivery, not not delivering on promised ideas, but just simply not turning up at your doorstep, or mailbox, or wherever these glossies turn up. I would never know, I still haven't gotten my issue/s. For the record I had paid up sometime in March and was told that the delivery would commence within 8 weeks. I'm waiting to get Wired.

Me Me Too

That's the first time the title of the post actually relates to what I have to write and has been written before the post itself. Don't concern yourself with such irrelevant details and the lack of appropriate punctuations in what I write.

What is your sexual orientation? Heterosexual with a one track mind. I'm so heterosexual that if I were a woman I'd be a lesbian.
What joke can you come up with...right now? German Prefer Brauns
What is inchworthy? My finger.
What does Toad the Wet Sprocket mean? Glen Hoodle running with the boys and hoping to score a few.
Who would dedicate the Internet to you? Who uh Who??
If I sit across an interview table why would you be scared? Because...You talking to me?
If blogs never came to be what would the memes do? Narcissists of the world would unite under the banner of the smug programmer.
Moby has no hair so would he...? Hunt with the hounds.
Why maximise anything? Because then you can supersize your coffer.
Spoof a verse right now, any language you can imagine?
Kyon aaj kal neend kam deadlines zyada hain,
Lagta hain boss ne koi client ko phasaya hain,
Kal tak tha teen aaj projects karne baara hain,
Haan mujhe kaam hain yeah yaa, Total jhaam hain yeah yaa.

This is how the flow goes...ppssshhhhhh.
Okay now that we've got that sorted we'll down to business.
This is down and damn annoying, if I don't start with the topic I'll bash my brains to pulp. Here's what happens. The post is a meme, so I tag people. Because I don't want to sound all exclusive I tag all those on my blogroll. Also because I like to call out to people individually and make them feel like a million bucks (b...its a b) this
(Roswitha)
(Angryfix)
(Mrinalini Sen)
(Samit Basu)
(Youth Curry)
(Desipundit)
(Bluelullaby)
(Gothprincess)
(Mellowdrama)
(Kowiks)
(Raindrop)
(Rimi)
(Srin)
(Hamlet Pow)
(Gaurav Sabnis)
(eM)

How do you do it? You can chose to form your own questions and answer them or you can answer these. I'd suggest you do your thing. Or better still just write a random/normal post and call it a meme or a youyou or whatever. I read them anyway. Just do it, will ya?

STACK MY KETCHUP

Mr Biswas Told Me So

Angry scenes were witnessed at the railway station today when a enraged father of three lashed out an equally enraged father of two. The ensuing war of words, mainly expletives refering to the anatomy of the female blood relations, threatened to spiral into a bit of one sock, two sock.

The reason for the fight according to one of the combatants was an improper way of getting off the train by the other, whereas the other accused him of blocking his passage out. The final conclusion was brought about by the non-partisan train which pulled out of the station after the end of the 23rd second. The man at the door was heard inviting the other onto the train, while his adversary for the morning was also gracious enough to extend an invitation from his side.

It was noted that the crowd, including this author, refused to be drawn into this banter and went about its business as usual.

Divulge No Details

. I'm slow on the uptake and lazy to ingest
- For a little one that's quite a dramatic line
. Keeps me grounded, this drama. You know I'm struggling with a massive block. I can't write no more
- Maybe it’s a complex, you know with all these Blogs and 2nd generation Internet jazz going around. Progress is intimidating for many
. They should have a device that writes down all I think of, like a pen that takes care of syntax and grammar and makes me a millionaire
- Must money always feature in these ideas of yours. Why a pen though? Why not have a bowl that conjures up food as you think of it
. You dropped the question mark in your last question
- No I didn't, it was rhetoric. You know today I think I can tolerate your pointed remarks
. I was hoping to rile you. Damn, you dashed all of 'em
- Listen, why don't we play a game?
. What sort would the game be? You were a queen the last time round
- No; this one will be an accent game. I'll speak in a Brit accent, you choose yours
. Why do have to be a pansy always? I'll speak the Yoda, anyway. More suited for a typed dialogue it is. Who will the victor not be?
- The one whose accent sounds alien

Two chinese boy-don't lie

See what YouTube dragged in!!

Ewwgenics and Milla

Can Milla Jovovich sing? I'm not sure about that but she can sure hum and lull me to sleep. She can also act and emote and send me to bed, alone. Its a little sad but I think she won't be a bigg (inspired by Digg) hit with me. Sorry Milla, or is it a single L, sorry anyway, you killer of zombies, you forgotten Saint, you carbon namesake.

There was a peep and a request. I'll let them take over. "Them who" you ask? Well, last night they came back and claimed their own. Today they demand an audience, I give you 'Dot' and 'Dash'...here take.

. Finally we're here

- What are you so gung-ho about?

. Because I have someone other than you to speak to

- And what matter of great import were you going to convey out here

. That you're a queen

- Queen Sheeba, you dimwitted single point of existence

. Hah! A queen all the same. Do you realise how ridiculous you look with that feather boa on you? It either hangs limp down your sides or is spread along you length

- Its a wonder to talk about length. You're the same standing, sitting or lying down. Really, don't you realise that I exist in many more dimensions than you do

. Now don't start on eugenics like that slick haired German. Your kind would've been sent to the shredder as well

- Oh, I'll just swing away when convenient. Do you have an Orkut account by any chance?

. No can't get a .@gmail.com I hate these companies that discriminate

- I heard AOL is giving away free accounts, I got one, its called crudesuppledreams@aol.com. I just twitter when the pingy voice goes 'You've got male'

. Fag

Well that's all they had for now, I may have more about what Milla Jovovich is missing here, other than the obvious double Ds, but does anyone care?

The Smartist

Ha, you might be wondering what a Smartist all about. Let me explain.

We always had Art that a majority of the population never understood or had access to and we had movements in Art that kept it alive until technology came along. Slowly technology and marketed entertainment replaced the true nature of Art. Advertising became Art; Fashion became Art, instead of just being a mirror to it. Art became very literal, lost its metaphors and its simplicities...and daresay its Artiness.

Technology (here I mean widespread computing) picked up from where Art had left off. It was open and accessible, yet obtuse enough to confound many. Technology was what Art was until technology came along, full of insights and rich in content, yet nascent enough to grow into the defining force of man. Grow it did but into yet another extremely commercialised and controlled behemoth. Define it did but the terms were not always acceptable.

Smartism is a movement to bring both Art and Technology closer to everyone’s understanding. Not talking down to anyone because the first premise we start with is that 'Everyone is smart enough to understand'. Collaborative and open source are ways in this direction, communities and blogs are the artistic sides of it. Smartism accepts and encompasses all the other movements, Smartism says yes and does not differentiate, much like drinking, Jim Morrison would say.

By virtue of that we call us The Smartists and everyone irrespective of their taste is welcome. We have a name for the bunch that believes that Art and Technology must be elite and people can be talked down to...we call them The Fartists.

(Its fun you know, when you can also be called The SMartists)

All in a morning

Is that love at first sight?
Or is it love many sights down?
Are these random words right?
(Noun, gown, crown, frown)
Or are they just words that rhyme with down

------------------------------------------

Sweet molten land accrues
On the treads of a far traveler’s shoes
Faces swim in and out
Voices fall to a whisper after the shout
Love and life have no bound
As the traveler sees the world around
Sweet molten sands trip you
As you run through the trap laid anew

---------------------------------------------

He sees his rhymes in meter and sound
He sees them float and fly around
I stand there with my thoughts rooted
Urge them to take wings and soar unsupported
He laughs and winks as he tumbles by
The verse, the line, the poem that is my
Slip out of fashion and follow him
In a blaze and a flash I am Him

It happened last night

Indian Government Lifts Ban on Blogs

iDope writes "The Department of Telecommunications of the Government of India has lifted the ban on blogs (reported previously on Slashdot) following pressure from the Indian blogger community and the media. Even with the lifting of the ban several bloggers from BloggersCollective are getting ready to file a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) (similar to a Class Action Lawsuit in US) in the Supreme Court of India against the Government censorship of the Internet."

From Slashdot

Blogged with Flock

They never let me down

If I want to spread some sort of propaganda what do I do? I use the Internet and the tools that come with it. The propaganda could be about snooty women who refuse to give me time, it could be about a completely watered down browser that refuses to evolve or it could be about a country that refuses to acts against its aggressors and instead attacks its citizens. No seriously, the Internet is by far the best way to engage people in debate or raise hackles. Newspapers are too slow and the television channels are plain comic. The Internet on the other hand, is viral. (No, the Gujjus may please be seated I'm not attacking (or praising) your community). You drop a word out here and the world picks it up. You drop many and the world starts believeing in it. If you think that's not true then how do you explain the huge number of hoaxes that spread after the advent of the 'popular' Internet? (A 'popular' Internet is one where non South Indians, Bengalis and Maharashtrians could also access and understand information).

So our fancy Department of Telecommunications (or was it I&B?) decided that the people needed protection against attacks from these cyber terrorists, never mind the blasts that make our lives so eventful. Or perhaps, they thought we'd change our way of thinking and sympathise with our attackers, or worse, the truth, contrary to its regular behaviour, may be out in the open and people would know the real reason why we have to deal with these off-season crackers. But trust the Government to goof up even a simple ban. I can blog, you can read my blog, if my Blogspot gets blocked, you can use a proxy from Pakistan (shame, shame) and access it. Yes people, we are still talking about the 'popular' Internet.

What do I conclude from this episode? My government is inefficient. It needs the terrorists to tell it what chemicals they used in the bombs they exploded. It cannot bring about any progressive legislation without watering it down and changing its orientation. It has an awful sense of timing and will use the argument that, the country is the butt of all terrorist jokes, to gain a seat in the UN Security Council and haggle for the General Secretary's post. It can't act like an authoritarian
government even if no one is looking. And best of all they don't know how to use the 'popular' Internet.

(Crossblogged at www.raydeo.wordpress.com. That blog gives a daily update on any interesting technology and science news. The previous line was an audacious plug. If you reside in my country and have accessed this blog without reading the instruction on the Wordpress blog, then I'm happy to know you and flattered that you're here. If you're here via the Wordpress blog and read the article twice, I'm flattered again but I'd suggest you'd rather read the posts that preceed this or go here or here).

Yoda in da hood

Yoda Rap - Google Video

A nicely done piece for sheer entertainment value only

Likely Lust

strange person

Mass mail this to the Indian MIddle Class

if i can sell you hope

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Baba I Want A Job

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Blogged with Flock

The real post is 2 paras later

Things don't come easy anymore. Many will be crying over Brazil's loss, the others will be sullen over England's tumble. I'm laughing. The Rogues from Rome are on their way to the semi-finals where they meet a much burdened Deutschland. In the other tie the frivilous French lock horns with the pragmatic Portugal. Any questions about whose flag I will paint on my dog?

Do people read Phantom anymore? I thought Billy Zane, in the purple suit and striped brief, was the most pansy superhero until he had a saviour in a blue spandex and a red cape. Brandon Routh is the 'gayest' that Superman has gotten. Kate Bosworth the most plain looking superhero chick, she beats the redoubtable Kirsten Dunst hands down. Kevin Spacey is hilarious as Lex Luthor. If you want to enjoy a very mediocre adaption of the world's favourite cartoon charcter, then watch Garfield 2 but avoid the latest Superman flick. There are many who will disagree. If you're really passionate about your views mail me. We will pick up a dialogue. That's the Internet way of saying - Meet me outside. (George Michael sang 'Let's go outside', this is different)

Now that I've played the role of town crier I better shift focus to the real idea of this post. I've never written an open letter in my life. Some people say I write very spontaneous personal mails, I hope that spontaineity filters through to this post which masquerades as a letter, or maybe its the other way round.

Vivek Narayan, I never got down, to mailing you about the project we spoke about. (Before all you rainbow warriors go dancing down the streets expecting an addition in your ranks, this is a business mail) I thought it might be better if I put up a post instead of a mail. Now we have a chance to guage people's opinion about the idea. Of course to get people to read this we will need Supriya or one of those much read Bengali Woman Bloggers to link to this post.(Will you Sups, please. I don't know many of them Bengalis).

For those who came in late, Vivek has plans to start a website that hosts a large number of views on Current Affairs, Arts, Culture and the other things that people like talking about. You know stuff like, 'Did Mika actually squeeze Rakhi Sawant while he kissed her?'. The idea per se isn't new, then Google too didn't pioneer search engines, they bettered it. So its the treatment that is important. Does anyone have a contructive idea about how the whole 'new treatment' must happen?

Vivek, don't bust your head up over the USP too much, you won't find it until...well, you've found it (Wow I feel as smart as Mariah Carey). On a rather serious note now(),apart from the whole USP thing and the conviction jazz you also need to structure a consistency model for your project. Hold forth a single voice, much like Rufus Wainwright. You will also need to address the problem of mediocre writers, many who claim to and write for regular newspapers. If you fall into the trap of young college writers you will end up with insipid, under-read writers like me, (as in, I haven't read many writings, not that my blog is under-read, its unread, undiscovered, much like 15th century America) authors who will try and be cocksure about everything and write with no conviction what-so-ever. So your first task will be to sift writers, get the good ones and motivate them to write on a regular basis. Your next big thing will be to have a design that makes people want to dig deep into your site. Don't hanker for long about the peripherals such as ad revenue etc. Once you have a product you can sell it and if you can't, we will play a requim, gab about how it would've been great if you had set up a revenue model before you started, and then plan a trip to Goa when the Swedish women start flying in.

So far so good, don't worry about competitors, you have none. Not because you're too cool and you have a cracker-jacker idea but because you are insignificant as yet. Its like Serbia playing the last league match, and that without Montenegro as a cankerous appendage. Make sure you have fun while doing it. Not 'IT' it but, it, the website.

Its very cool to write a verse at the end of your mails, it depicts the trail of creativity you're leaving behind.

So take your pick from these

Arre baba haha!!

what's so great

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Football Dekha?

The World Cup is on and even my mom watches them matches. She nods off by the second half of the second match, she's one of the cutest spectators of the sport. Like all others, she roots for the underdogs, pines for more goals and loves to watch Brazil play.
With the first round of league matches done, everyone has had a first dekko of the teams. The nervous English, the gutsy Aussies, the overconfident Brazilians, the squabbling Swedes and the steely Czechs.
Everyone has their favourites for the trophy, hating Brazil is fashionable for a few, most of those who hate the Samba Sorcerers tend to like the English...just a trend I've noticed. Just as Lampard tended towards scoring a goal against the utterly boring Trinidad & Tobago, he kept getting closer but never got one in, the mathematicians would've loved him. "Now there boy we have a proper demonstration of a limiting function, Lampard's shots tend to, but never reaches, the goal"

I didn't go to the party because I was asked not to

Alright before you guys get tied in your daily routine go here, its sure to split you up. Of course there will be those unfortunate people out there who don't know what those oblique references are, its ok we understand.
The World Cup is about to kick off in a few minutes from now, I know the match isn't a great contest, I mean look at Germany, they don't stand a chance against the immaturity of Costa Rica. What does Costa Rica mean anyway, Rice Coast? Just for the record I'm hoping Brazil or Germany or England or Argentina or the other usual suspects don't win the cup, I'd rather prefer if Sweden or the Czech Republic lift it. It's high time we get a new champion, else football too will become as boring and predictable as cricket. Talking about cricket, I think there is a sot of cosmic leaning towards the yellow strip, Australia wears it in cricket, wins the World Cup, Brazil...football, China...screwball, well they at least screw our balls real tight. Dammit do something interesting, I'm going to eat dinner and watch Costa Rica show that being a poor Central American country does not mean that they can't have shiny shoes and bad hairdo.

Take that Gandalf

I spent most of my college life wondering why I never sat for most of my college lectures. Of course, when I was hauled up by the attendance committee at the end of every semester I'd put forth my most incredulous face, "Me on the black list!!". They bought it and I was let off everytime because of my contribution to college activities (this does not mean I bribed my way, I did really contribute...a little bit). I had to sign aome sort of undertaking every time. There were times when I felt my HoD was Gandalf, standing there with a staff and blocking my path with a "You shall not pass", I was no Balrog though and so skipped my way past her and finally made it through to the final University examinations. Those 6 papers were another story, every paper made me feel bad, it made me think about the number of trees who had gone through the mill just so that the examiner would know that I spent most the lectures sitting on the college stairs goofing around and the only thing I knew about 'Ring Theory' was that it was made in the fires of Mount Doom...wait a minute, that's not it, anyway I did save a lot of trees and yet manage to get a degree with a class true to my proleteriat leanings.

The Weather Man Updateth

Weather you like it or not

On why the monsoon is getting erratic and heavier.
Weather Man

Alright

Now that the hand is out and free, it's time for some restructuring and consolidation. I have 3 blogs and a Google web page. I'm a very dormant writer, atleast that's been the case this far. Having control over these many web properties and not utilising them is tantamount to dereliction of duties. So I've wisened up and decided to first structure my web presence and then put up periodic updates.
The Blogspot blog, this one, will be updated on a more regular basis and will have random musings and other non-topical writing (whatever that means....or something more like this).
The Wordpress blog will have tech and science gyaan. I'll try to research and write but they will mainly be opinion pieces.
The newest blog, the Blogdrive one, will have articles about the weather, the city infrastucture and other such seemingly macro topics.
For a few days I will keep putting up links on my Blogspot blog for updates on the other blogs, the reason is very simple, I get more visits on this blog than any other.
Finally we get to the Googlepages, this will act as a repository for fresh ideas about music, theatre, business ideas and also serve my narcissist endevours.
So to kickstart this we have the next post, ported from the Wordpress blog.

Trackback

Written a long time ago when I was younger, you can find it here.

An Unplanned Break

It happens in a flash, the train hurtles at 60 km/hr and people hang on to whatever they can get. The crowd from inside tries to surge and move outward. The people at the door push in. This is the super crush load traffic, where 16 people occupy the space meant for 1. Everything works.
A crack is heard, someone at the door has been hit. It could be the head, it could be another statistic. It's a hand, some are disappointed, a few concerned. Some play Moses and part the crowd, the broken arm is cradled carefully and seated on a seat that someone vacates readily. The doctor and home are 30 minutes away, atleast.
The bone pops out of the elbow and clicks back in everytime the train jigs along merrily. The phone at home rings, a hand is broken, get to the doctor ask him to wait. The pain isn't the problem anymore, the shock has worn off, its just that the mouth is parched. Sometimes pain induces heavy sweating, the muscles need to come to terms with a bone that insists on hanging out with them.
Move your elbow, flex your forearm, does it hurt if I push against this swelling? Ah, it does. Congratulations you have a fracture.
The X-ray shows a clean break and an adventurous bone reaching out of the elbow socket. A splint is put on and taken off, a bigger one is put on later.
The splint bites at the open wound and into the wrist. The night is spent in trying to find the right position to sleep in, maybe power naps during office hours aren't such a good thing. A pose offers a deep dream inducing slumber for an hour, the nurse decides that's enough sleep, its time to have the morning tea and get ready for an operation.
A needle pricks at a nerve that runs along the neck, these aren't the vampire chronicles. The fingers tingle for a few seconds, the arm goes numb, there is no left arm. The blood is drained away from the arm to the rest of the body, it will return in 90 minutes, everything needs to be set in place by then. The scissors cut at the skin, the drill digs into the bone, a steel plate and six screws become part of an anatomy, for a while atleast. The arm shall awaken in 6 hours to the plate and the pain, until then it sleeps.

Fo, So? Go

You cannot miss the wisp of smoke rising up from the corner, that's where the heated argument is on.
What would you prefer, walking around like this or sweating it out with someone?
Those who came late knew how to hold on for longer, the rest after that is quite dreamy.
Content is not just a few words strung together like this. It could mean more than what is shown or said.
In between the lines runs a fine misunderstanding, which could be misunderstood if people aren't careful.
They could also dye their thoughts in any hue they choose. The colours wouldn't matter as long they're all black.
Black people can leap across these barriers because of the higher concentration of red muscles in their body.
The moment it becomes forced we quit.

The Unsung One

As you scour the Internet for sites to read or play around with you begin to realise that there are many "I don't know what to do with this site" kind of websites and the converse "Oh My God! I never knew such a great site actually existed."
It will be very safe to bet that no one will ever visit all the sites (not web pages) that are there on this planet, not even Google's hardworking bots. The same holds true for the blogs as well.
I came across h2g2.com a long time ago, probably a few months after it was launched, it seemed like a very interesting concept and being a DNA reader (those who can think only along the lines of the newspaper in Mumbai can start panicking about their intellect right now) it was a very natural thing to do, sign up that is. But in those days the Internet wasn't studied like it is today. We visited sites and then we forgot about them after a while. I guess a lot of surfers did that with h2g2.com, people moved on and the Internet became a far more integral part of their lives, they started spending a lot of their waking hours online, sites got a dedicated set of visitors and many smart movers came up with a rehashed version of existing sites. Wikipedia was one of them. It has the same agenda as h2g2.com, except that its a wiki, WYSIWYG helped it build a large number of articles and also become the de facto encylopaedia on the web. h2g2 'lost out' because it was a right idea at a wrong time and when the right time did come along, someone made reading and writing stuff on the Internet easier. I would like to speculate about what would happen if h2g2 were to incorporate wiki. Would it still be a niche? (Is that pronounced just as the Americans would pronounce Nietzsche?)

Her, him and Inzamam

I always wanted to start a business of my own. As a kid it meant thinking of setting up a car manufacturing plant or some such capital intensive industry. A few years later I realised that my father never had much money and manufacturing cars was getting more expensive by the day. Then I toyed around with media for a bit, you know the newspaper, radio station and finally a television channel kind of media company. The brillinat plan was to first sell content, then sell your own content rag and so and so forth. After working out the economics we (yes there was a team in this venture) figured out that we did not have money for this as well and generating good content out of only her and her would be inhuman. Of course there were other people like him and her but they were too busy with other commitments so we'd have to make do with mediocre stuff such as this or with other humdrum stuff. That wouldn't quite make us very different from the other rags around. So after huge 'business development meetings' we decided to fold our 'operations'.
Now there is more purpose to the idea that I have in my head. The good part is that I am not alone, I have my own Wozniak and Allen. The plan is to executed in around 5 years from now until then there will be a lot of leraning and ideating. Thinking about starting an enterprise gives me an adrenaline rush. In the immortal words of Inzamam-ul-Haq, "Inshallah we shall be able to overcome and the boys will deliver."

My Empire Of Dirt

I've been given instructions on how to fill this form up. Also I've been told not to act cool and not, not fill it up. If this amuses a small bunch of people then so be it. And if I'm supposed to tag anybody at the end of this then so be it as well. Well I dont know many people who dwell in blog land, so I'll tag just one person. Supriya can you do this?

# Were you named after anyone? Non, they said I exibited a spilt personality even as a baby hence the name alluding to the Gemini
# Do you wish on stars? Can you do that?
# When did you cry last? Cant remember
# Do you like your handwriting? Yes, I also like my font
# What is your favourite meat? None
# What is your most embarrasing CD on your shelf? I dont have a shelf
# If you were another person, would YOU be friends with You? Of course
# Are you a daredevil? And be bracketed with Ben Affleck? You nuts?
# How do you release anger? In bursts
# Where is your second home? Wichita
# Do you trust others easily? Depends on who the others are
# What was your favourite toy as a child? He-Man, action figures
# What class in school/college do you think is totally useless? Communication Skills
# Do you use sarcasm a lot? Dont know what that means
# Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Yes
# What do you look for in a guy/girl? In a girl...can I have a look?
# Would you bungee jump? Yes
# Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Dont normally wear shoes, if I do yes
# What’s your favourite ice-cream? The one the other person is eating
# What are your favourite colours? Black, grey, indigo, blue
# What are your least favourite things? Dead animals, cut trees, dry heat
# How many people do you have a crush on now? None
# Who do you miss the most right now? None
# What are you listening to right now? Canned Heat- On The Road Again
# If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Orange
# What is the weather like right now? Warm, Still...geting there
# Last person you talked to on the phone? Prerna
# The “first” thing you notice about the opposite sex? I was told this question is asked with a 'I want to bed you' after text, so Girl, Spunk
# How do you like the person who sent you this? Quiet
# How are you today? As blase as I was yesterday
# Favourite non-alcoholic drink? Fruit Juice
# Favourite alcoholic drink? None
# Natural hair colour? Black
# Eye colour? Cow Brown
# Wear contacts? No
# Siblings? 'Streeling', 1
# Favourite months? Nov through Feb, June
# Favourite food? Keeps changing
# Favourite day of the year? The sixth
# Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? No
# Scary movies or happy endings? This is stupid question and I'm getting bored
# Summer or Winter? Refer to question 37
# Holi or Diwali? One after the other
# Do you like your name? Of course I do
# What book/magazine are you reading? Baudolino/The Economist
# What’s on your mouse pad? Dont have one, If I did I'd have a mouse on it
# What did you watch on T.V last night? Black men rapping and black chicks gyrating
# Favourite smell? Keeps changing
# Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone? Havent
# Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done? Fighting/arguing

All the way - Part 1

A few days ago the Discovery channel was showing how the city of Boston saved its commuters from a daily ordeal. The show was called Extreme Engineering and these guys were constructing an interstate highway (freeway), the I-90. This took around 20 years of effort and planning and is the most expensive roadway ever constructed. Ideally a roadway's construction cost is measuered in cost/km and not the total project cost. What was interesting about the construction of this 5.6 km long 'controlled access highway' was that along the way the workers found that the area through which the tunnels were to be dug was largely landfill or former garbage dumps. This obviously meant that the soil wasn't hard and compressed and keeping it packed in was a problem. In addition they also came across barriers such as suken ships packed within the reclaimed land and foundations of houses long buried. At the end of the "Big Dig" the total cost of the project was a whopping $14.6 billion. In the bargain the citizens of Boston have saved anywhere between an hour to 45 minutes in travel time, all the interstate traffic flows below the city. Another interesting fact is the shape of the city and its multiple waterfronts and islands. This has allowed for a planned expansion and city building plan.
We can do the same to any Indian city. Or atleast theorise. What I intend to do out here is have people post about what they would like to see in their towns/cities. Where do they think the traffic density must be reduced or the green cover increased. Come up with viable suggestions and ideas, it could also be pertaining to an efficient way to take care of the rat population in the city. Talking about rats, where did all the arts in Delhi go once the metro dug up their homes?
Do be responsive and ideate, its good for the brain.

And then there were so many

There was a time when I used just Google as my Internet research guide. Every query was run through Google and only then would I scour the library looking for data. These things, however have been changing slowly.

First into the picture to affect this change was Firefox. The browser had built in search bar where you could customise the source from wher you'd like the data. So if I wanted to know what 'Ombudsman' meant, I didn't need Google. The Dictionary search in Firefox told me what. IMDB gave me the necessary gyaan about movies, Amazon and Answers took over from where these guys left off, and all along I skipped farther away from Google.

Sometime later Wikipedia entered the picture. Initially the 'Wikiable' encyclopaedia on the web had its share of shortcomings, the data wasn't as credible and there wasn't much information available, over time they tightened the editing and filtering techniques and today with close to a million articles have become my Encyclopaedia of choice. Frankly I prefer this Internet based tome to those that can be carried around, the simplest reason for this are the crosslinkages. Of course, they do have their share of gaffes, which the JFK assasination fiasco will elucidate, but by and large Wikipedia has become a very reliable source of information.

The advent of Blogs and RSS also changed the way I searched and browsed the web. Sure both Google and MSN launched their own aggregator sites. Google with its personalised page and MSN with Live.com. But I found feed aggregators, both independent and those that were integarted with the browser, far more convenient.

Now both Yahoo and MSN are playing catch up with Google as far as the search is concerned. Even old favourites such as Ask Jeeves have changed the way they look and provide service. The new Ask.com is a pleasent surprise.

I came across this news today, ironically aggergated onto my personalised Google page. If the CFO thinks growth is slowing might I suggest a take over of Mozilla and Wikipedia. That might help Google from being the bright blaze that will eventually die out. And of course they will own the Internet, or atleast be the first point of entry for many.

Here come the men in black

The porn industry in America comes out with very innovative rip offs of famous Hollywood films. Names like "Star Whores", "Sex Wars", "Driving Miss Daisy Crazy", "Once Upon A Girl" are quite common. Of course all of them will have the same old 'in out, in out', albeit with a tepid storyline. Imagine Darth Vader with his metallic 'you know what', having a go at Princess Leia, only to find out later that he was being a bad daddy.

Is the law an ass or are we?

When I used to work for a technology magazine I had done an extensive feature on gaming, the history and the future etc. There were plans to put it up on the blog but I wasn’t sure of my rights, or rather the copyright legislations. To be very frank I’m not too sure about my basic rights. I know what my fundamental rights are, in alphabets, that is. Now picture this scenario. You’re traveling on a local train and have a monthly pass. A ticket collector comes along asks for your pass. You give it to him and he tears it up and tosses it out. Then he claims that you are traveling without a ticket and demands a fine or as the norm would be, a bribe. What would you do? Can you fight? What proof do you have that you did indeed carry a pass? If it were an outstation ticket then you have a proof in the system. In case of a omputer generated ticket, your purchase would've been recorded and there is a chart at the dor that proves your reservation. But it doesn’t prove that you had the ticket with you. Daily tickets or monthly passes don’t have any immediate proof of reservation or purchase or that you are carrying it in person either.
Here’s another scenario, what happens if the police just picks you up off the street and puts you behind bars, denying you the right to call the lawyer? They give you a good spanking, slap a case of creating a nuisance against you, and try you for the same. They may do this just to hike up their arrest and conviction ratios. And the rather strong emphasis on circumstantial evidence makes it very easy for ‘them’ to snare ‘us’.
Isn’t that what happened during the emergency, can’t it happen now, doesn’t it happen rather? We’ve always heard of cases where the police are brutal and have committed various acts that don’t quite sit right with our version of safeguarding our rights, or protecting us.
And what is this funda of assembly or parliamentary privilege, the one that grants our elected legislators a certain amount of immunity against criticism?
The tome that is often called our constitution is quite a labyrinth and even 5 years of law school isn’t enough to understand every passage or circumvent every loophole.
As individuals are we really insured against the misuse of power? Does the law really protect us? Does the constitution safeguard our rights? Can these statements be recorded and used to move a contempt of court proceeding against me?The above post may give the reader an impression that I’m a paranoid rambler. But that’s not the case, nor am I elucidating my naivety as far as the law or my rights are concerned. These ideas come floating and leave traces of doubts behind.

(There is a brief post about some new gaming development on Wordpress)

Goa, Goa, had gone

Ah, minty green freshness. It has been quite a while since I've taken myself on a vacation. The weekend trips are fine but no long drawn trips with days spent doing nothing. And the nights? Ditto.

My last trip to any place that is more than 300 km away from Mumbai was in 2004, to Goa. This was between a job switch and on time earned by lying about my tenure to both my future and former employer. 5 days in Goa, went by train, stayed in a Goan 'aunty's' house and wasted myself away. In my defense, I wasn't alone, I had 3 others with me. We rented out a car, a beaten down Maruti 800, got a temporary tatoo done down the length of my back, ate vegetable vindaloo at decently expensive and candle lit cafes like any respectable Tam Brahm, acted like I was drinking and kept emptying my glass into my neighbour's empty one, pussyfooted about smoking up. Sat down at the beach, walked up and down the beach, did not venture into the water because swimming wasn't something that my parents taught me, tried to learn driving, reversed the the car into a 'firang's' Isuzu, paid the damages and walked around with a smirk on my face.

As far as I was concerned this was the funnest of trips I had taken in a while. What to tell you I'm a lazy bum.

PS: This is the first of my crossposts, I coined that term. Which means that for a bit (read as long I think its uber cool) I shall be posting simultaneously here as well as here. It will be the same post before my Wordpress blog detaches itself from the mother ship. And those who are waiting for a quiz (ha the fine art of flattering oneself), a little later please, I'm quite bored right now.

One More

Guess what I've been upto? Someone told me that Wordpress is a very good blogging service. I'm not a very frequent blogger but the opurtunity to try out something new is very tempting. So I gave it a shot, so far I say, it's quite nice, has a few interesting features that Blogger does not.

So all those who do read what's written here can also go and check out raydeo.wordpress.com
I have no fascination for the term raydeo, in fact it sounds like a Mexican wrestler from the WWE, but the name has stuck so I'm cool with it.

Go to the new blog and patronize me, will you?

Hello

I thought I'd sit down and write about cheesy blog posts, the ones I've read and the ones that I would in due course had I taken up writing this post. Thank God I did not, else I would have to sit and browse around for very bad blogs, not that they are rare, every second blog you come across is bullshit, especially a lot from the regions that lie to our south-east. A typical post from these blogs would read as follows,
Hi, theeeees Tammiiii here. Long time no pos no!!! Was tied in knotts!! Howzaaaaaa everybodeee. I miss all of you, like everyday you know and sometimes at night times toooooo. Howzaaa Ronil, howzaaaa Wendy, and David, Lisa I soooo miss you. But BB you I'm not talking. You stood up on my birdayyyy!!!!! Alright now I've gotttta go and shop with mama. She plans to send me to Taata's house after school!!!! OOOh loooove school!!! Fun and party |-)

In all probability this will be a collaborative blog by Ronil, Wendy, David, Lisa, BB and Tami. You've read one you've read them all.
I'm not being a nazi but Indian blogs are far more fun to read than these firang ones. the American blogs are pretty dry (waiting for "oh you don't know a lot of good American blogs then" line), the British ones pontificate and struggle between liberal and labour (the tories don't blog, they drink tea and eat scones), the European ones ...well are in some European language that I can't comprehend. Sri Lankan ones are fine and so are the Pakistani ones. The ones from Middle East though take the cake. If they are in English (most are in Arabic) then they're anti US and generally anti anything that is anti fundamentalist. The Arabic ones, however, I believe are just erotic literature. I am not allowed to comment about the Chinese blogs.

PS: Details about Indian blogs coming up

Jesus Christ Super Yaar

The blog land is replete with people writing, arguing, praising, dissing and datting Rang De Basanti. Whole chain of arguments have sprouted. Almost everyone I read had a word to say about the movie, including the normally tangential Supriya who got sucked into a mainstream phenomenon. Even I ventured into it and tried to shoot back at a review of the movie which I thought was getting a bit too stirred up. Jabberwock was kind enough to respond to my 'criticism' of the crticism and hand me a sound thrashing. I understood the folly of my ways and retreated into my dirigible. But there was something about the movie that changed the way I lead my life, until then.
It was because of the movie that I now write down all my posts, including the mind numbingly difficult quizzes, using a pen, sorry, using an ink pen. I fill up entire sheets of office stationary writing arbitrary questions and other inane sentences in Royal Blue Ink (by Chelpark). The pen is a Made in China-China Pen, also known as a Hero Pen, model number 332 preceeded by some Chinese characters that I cannot understand. My source of inspiration was Sue's grandpa, was he from her father's or mother's side, who wrote about the three kinds of dying men in very good writing using an ink pen.
I have also noticed other changes in me, like wanting to jump up to every passing plane. Living in Mumbai this is turning out to be quite a problem (we have a fairly busy airspace you see). I also live in constant fear that the next firang chick I pass a comment at (in Hindi mind you) will turn back and say, "Teri Maa Ki Aankh" or something worse, and I'd never get it because of their accent. The movie also left me wondering what "Takkes" meant, though I dare not ask my sister. This is quite an issue considering I'm always on the look out for answers.
Because of these abnormalities I have thrown my weight behind all those who dissed the movie.
Bad movie, bad influence. Thanks to it I have stained shirt pockets now.

Time's Up

The answers are here

1] Complete the series, with respect to US Presidential elections: Andrew Jackson, Grover Cleveland, Samuel Tilden
- Al Gore, this is the list of those presidential candidates who lost out in the electoral college even though they won more popular votes. Jackson and Cleveland however did serve as the Presidents.

2] It was introduced as an experiment covering a 40km radius with the support of the UNESCO, Philips and the US Govt. in 1959. The facility was extended to Bombay in 1972, followed by Srinagar , Calcutta and Madras . It was delinked from its mother organization in 1976 and given the status of an independent corporation. The corporation went commercial in 1982 and was raking in Rs. 10 billion in revenue by 1987. What ?
- Doodarshan. Good old DD makes a lot of money

3] Lt. Col. Douglas Kirkpatrick ( Prof. of Aeronautics at USAF Academy ) on observing something said : ___ has overcome the acceleration of the earth's gravity by use of muscle power in the vertical plane, thus producing a low-altitude earth orbit.
- That's Mchael Jordan and his amazing ability to stay in the Air

4] Connect Jhankaar,Amore,Upop,Swing,Shruti
- All stations on the Worldspace radio service

5] Which famous personality turned down the Order of Merit with a statement : " It would be superfluous, as I have already conferred this on myself ." ?
- Irreverance can only be George Bernard Shaw

6] A small town so called in south-west France , near Bordeaux gave a Frenchman named Antoine de La Mothe a title , that eventually gave rise to a brand name . Name the brand .
- Cadilac

7] The first U.S. coin to bear the words "United States of America," was a penny piece made in 1727. There was plain spoken motto inscribed on it . What was the inscription ?
- Mind Your Own Business

8] When Steve Wozniak was 18 yrs old , he used to sell illegal devices that allowed free long distance phone calls. This was at a place called Homebrew Computer Club . To whom did he make his first free phone call ?
- He called the Pope

9] What was the contribution to English literature of the visitor from Porlock?
- Kubla Khan was left incomplete because of the insurance salesman who interrupted Coleridge

10] Two phrases, which have now become an integral part of the English language, first appeared in the Snoopy comic strips by Charles Schulz. What are they?
- Good Grief and security Blanket

This time round I'm putting up two bonus questions.

11] Who said, and in what context: "You can have it any colour as long as it is Bondi Blue?
- Steve Jobs about the iMac

12] What is the origin for the term "popping crease"?
-Earlier, there was a hole in the pitch where the batsman had to ground the bat to complete a run out. Equally, the fielding team had to "pop" the ball in the hole to achieve a run out. The system, being quite impractical and resulting in a number of injuries to the players, was replaced by a line drawn across the pitch, which was labelled the "popping crease" in recognition of the old system.

10/11

I'm putting up Quiz number 10 or is it 11? Well that doesn't matter. So we have the questions here and the number doesn't matter just as an erection in a porn movie.
So after a fine mix or Horlicks and Green tea I am disgusted enough to loathe each and every one of you.

1] Complete the series, with respect to US Presidential elections: Andrew Jackson, Grover Cleveland, Samuel Tilden

2] It was introduced as an experiment covering a 40km radius with the support of the UNESCO, Philips and the US Govt. in 1959. The facility was extended to Bombay in 1972, followed by Srinagar , Calcutta and Madras . It was delinked from its mother organization in 1976 and given the status of an independent corporation. The corporation went commercial in 1982 and was raking in Rs. 10 billion in revenue by 1987. What ?

3] Lt. Col. Douglas Kirkpatrick ( Prof. of Aeronautics at USAF Academy ) on observing something said : ___ has overcome the acceleration of the earth's gravity by use of muscle power in the vertical plane, thus producing a low-altitude earth orbit.

4] Connect Jhankaar,Amore,Upop,Swing,Shruti

5] Which famous personality turned down the Order of Merit with a statement : " It would be superfluous, as I have already conferred this on myself ." ?

6] A small town so called in south-west France , near Bordeaux gave a Frenchman named Antoine de La Mothe a title , that eventually gave rise to a brand name . Name the brand .

7] The first U.S. coin to bear the words "United States of America," was a penny piece made in 1727. There was plain spoken motto inscribed on it . What was the inscription ?

8] When Steve Wozniak was 18 yrs old , he used to sell illegal devices that allowed free long distance phone calls. This was at a place called Homebrew Computer Club . To whom did he make his first free phone call ?

9] What was the contribution to English literature of the visitor from Porlock?

10] Two phrases, which have now become an integral part of the English language, first appeared in the Snoopy comic strips by Charles Schulz. What are they?

This time round I'm putting up two bonus questions.

11] Who said, and in what context: "You can have it any colour as long as it is Bondi Blue?

12] What is the origin for the term "popping crease"?

Quinine Answers

Jingle bell frock is what Santa wears right??
Would anything I say be taken as true gyan? Then I'd start spouting vacant wisdom a la Oprah Chopra.
Anyway the answers to the last kweez are up and as Supriya said they were quite Google friendly.
Just you wait people. The next one is what any Parsi would call 'g***d fadoo'

What laws were stated in the 1942 short story called 'Runaround'? Bonus for anyone who spells out these laws.
- The laws of Robotics. I guess this was the easiest of the lot. I'm not going to give each of these laws and trust me no one wants to test my Asimov fundae.

Melinda and Bill Gates and Bono were the TIME people of the year for 2005. Who was TIME 'Man' of the year in 1988?
- The Endangered Earth was the Time blah of the year for '88

Which product, extensively used nowadays, did Immanuel Nobel, father of Alfred Nobel, invent?
- Plywood da. Son makes bombs father makes wood variant

Dismas- __________- Getas. Simple fill in the blank
-Jesus

In chess, which move’s notation is 0-0-0?
- Castle on the queen's side. Immensely guessable this was

What was the Treaty of Park Avenue? Who were the signatories? (If anybody says FRIENDS I'll put an embargo on them)
- Asimove and Arthur C Clarke. Good little extra tidbit by Jehangir

Name the brothers whose first names were James and William who made the first milk supplement using malted barley and wheat flour?
- Horlicks

In 1955, Theodor Geisel was awarded an authentic doctorate by his alma mater, Dartmouth College even though he had earlier conferred a similar degree upon himself. How do we know him better?
- Dr Suess, very Supriya kind of poet

Which well-known fictional character hails from the village of Talsonapur?
-Devdas

The playing surface in this sport can be made of any material as long as it answers to this specification: a standard ball, dropped on to it from a height of 12 inches must rebound to a height of 9 -10 inches. Which sport?
- Table tennis

Bonus Q
What famous retort was made to the following exclamation: "Goodness, what diamonds!"?
- Goodness has nothing to do with it.
What's with the dearie Jeh, you have a feather boa with you?

The Lizard King can do anything

Most people have links on their sidebar, links to people they read on a regular basis or friends who blog. I had a similar blog rolling bar as it was called but then I forgot my password and I had given it some ugly padding. Eventually I got rid of it and added a few new thingys to the side bar. They're looking quite ugly as well. The point of this blog is not to discuss the side bar. That's quite irrelevant really. I've just finished scripting a TVC for some itchy scratchy cream and am a little vacant.
I decided to list out the blogs that I visit and why I visit them. This is not a sugary sweet post as its not me to be that nice, its just and exercise in boredom. Anyway lets see, how do I configure this, chronology or frequency of visit. Getting an alphabetical order is too much for me, its to much of work and I won't get paid for it either.
People who are referred to herewith are requested to keep a pinch of salt handy. Some may know me others would've just visited my blog and for those who don't know me or have visited my blog I have a scalpel. Ever tasted very bad sarcasm?

Supriya- roswitha.blogspot.com: Supriya I've know since college days (i.e not too long ago). I'd rate her as the smartest and wittiest writer I've read. She is also a mofo quizzer with immense gyaan about Lit and Music and Art and other such very very smart things. If I ever start a publication or any knowledge business I'll try and poach her.

Samit Basu- samitbasu.blogspot.com: I came across his blog after reading The Simoqin Prophecies. Nice book, the blog has metamorphosized into a big publicity wagon for his books but I think its only fair.

Aishwarya- bluelullaby.blogspot.com: There was a time when I wanted to start a magazine+website (I still do). The idea had gained some momentum and I went about scouting for writers on the web. Aishwarya's was one of the earliest ones I visited. A fairly good taste in life she depicts. (I have a habit of speaking in inversions). Quite a good critic she seems.

eM- thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com: I used to read this on and off, now a days its more off than on. Does the silverfish ever write I wonder. Because of eM's blog I also got directed to caramelcustard.blogspot.com, thatonly.blogspot.com and a few other similar blogs. The novelty has worn off and I've forgotten most of those links. One really fun thing about these blogs were the attacks they faced from a few radical anti women's lib chaps. From an engaging dialogue it went onto become a blogger bashing game.

Mrinalini- mrinalinisen.blogspot.com: I don't quite remember how I landed up here but the author has a few interesting interests and as a corollary interesting posts. A new read.

Sandeep- sandeepmakam.blogspot.com: This guy is an ad man from Chennai, who, I believe has his own agency. He puts up a good collection of print ads and ambient campaigns from around the world. For me it's a good resource. For the rest of the junta it could be a good place to view arty and scam ads. Do keep in mind that all the jpegs mean that the blog takes awfully long to load.

Rimi- myownfairystories.blogspot.com: Long drawn posts about oneself and bitchy posts about other people. A fun read if you have the patience.

Erebus- specksinuniverse.blogspot.com: Australian based bong I presume with a radio blog. A regular at the quizzes and (I stand corrected here erebus doesn't read fantasy fiction) a fantasy fiction lover. (So there is no combination other than pop music, that I know of) Nice combination, right now he has a boring playlist up so I'm ducking out.

Srin or Srinanda(?)- cha-biskoot.blogspot.com: A by and by blog like mine, a SFF fan too, I think.

Kiruba- kiruba.com: One of the 1st blogs I visited way back in 2004. Started off as a fun blog now its a resource blog with small tidbits of gyaan and opinions.

Teleute- ruinsoftheday.blogspot.com: Short posts that don't allow you to leave a comment. Nice dark lines. Been quite boring of late.

Rashmi- youthcurry.blogspot.com: There was a time when I did a summer job at JAM. Ran into Rashmi's blog late last year. A very opinion based blog and a good plug for JAM. Has had its bit of controversy (read surge in popularity/hits) courtesy the IIPM issue

Govinraj Ethiraj- datelinebombay.blogspot.com: Used to be the Corporate Affairs Editor at CNBC TV18. I've heard he has quit which might be the reason the blog is updated frequently. For those who want very magazine type posts you can read them here.

There are other blogs, which I visit, but I can't recollect their urls. Typing .blogspot.com seems easier which is why you'd not find a live journal or spaces blog here. Guess I'm not in touch with a large number of fun people. That's fine enough I guess, I did great without any blog or phone for long.

FOR THE QUIZ, JUST SCROLL DOWN. IT’S THE PRECEEDING POST.

Bono aur woh dono

These questions are being put up sans numbering. Because I'm bored of numbers and also because I goofed up last time and put in a question less. I'm also in a mood to put up some insane posts and photographs. Lets see if sanity pervails.
Also anybody interested in organising a one-off quizzing festival or literary festival say sometime in May or March or something.

What laws were stated in the 1942 short story called 'Runaround'? Bonus for anyone who spells out these laws.

Melinda and Bill Gates and Bono were the TIME people of the year for 2005. Who was TIME 'Man' of the year in 1988?

Which product, extensively used nowadays, did Immanuel Nobel, father of Alfred Nobel, invent?

Dismas- __________- Getas. Simple fill in the blank

In chess, which move’s notation is 0-0-0?

What was the Treaty of Park Avenue? Who were the signatories? (If anybody says FRIENDS I'll put an embargo on them)

Name the brothers whose first names were James and William who made the first milk supplement using malted barley and wheat flour?

In 1955, Theodor Geisel was awarded an authentic doctorate by his alma mater, Dartmouth College even though he had earlier conferred a similar degree upon himself. How do we know him better?

Which well-known fictional character hails from the village of Talsonapur?

The playing surface in this sport can be made of any material as long as it answers to this specification: a standard ball, dropped on to it from a height of 12 inches must rebound to a height of 9 -10 inches. Which sport?

Bonus Q
What famous retort was made to the following exclamation: "Goodness, what diamonds!"?

And the answers are.....

66] Eli Cohen, an Israeli spy based in Damascus disguised as a Syrian, was arguably Israeli’s most successfulspy ever. He passed on vital information about Syrian war plans and defense equipment during the 1960s, which played a key role in Israel’s spectacular victory against Syria during the six-day war. The exposure of his real identity and his subsequent arrest and execution, ironically, had an unintended Indian connection. What was the connection?
- This has a very funda anwer. The Indian embassy was situated close to the Israeli one. Our guys complained about some static in their radio transmissions. the Syrians of course had no clue why this was happening so they asked the Russian experts who zeroed in on Eli. Macabre twist innit?

40] "Peace is a lie, there is only passion / Through passion, I gain strength / Through strength, I gain power / Through power, I gain victory/ Through victory, my chains are broken/ The Force shall free me." In popular culture/fiction, this is called "The ------- Code". What?
- The Sith Code, the lines are a give away. Whoever said The Jedi Code needs to do some serious soul searching.

41] This residential area of lower Manhattan, New York gained a reputation in the early years of the 20th century for its bohemianism, and is associated with unconventional writers, artists and musicians, especially members of the Beat generation. What place are we talking about?
- Greewnich Village. Who wants to argue that the "Friends" aren't bobos

43] The original, dating back to 1952, is owned by Steven Spielberg, who has no intentions of selling it. Market buzz places the value of this item at $100,000 or higher. It is done largely in blue and has three people cowering up against a wall while a shadow lengthens in their direction. What are we talking about?
- The First MAD cover

47] What are the specifications of the Field's Medal awarded to mathematicians? (Poor guys do not get the Nobel)
- The mathematicians have to be not more than 40 years of age while receiving the award. A lot of brrilliant mathematicians have missed out because of this.

62] What is Fredrico Fellini's contribution to the English language?
- Fellini, an Italian director coined the term Paparazzi in his film La Dolce Vita.The word which refers to people who are chasing celebrities in search of a story

72] For those who dwell in Wodehouse, if Jeeves is Wooster’s butler, who are the butlers of Lord Emsworth and Sir Watkyn Basset?
- Beach and Butterfield. This was bloody easy

37] What was the Spruce Goose?
- The huge wooden aeroplane designed and built by Hughes Aviation, for the US Navy, that flew just once for around a minute and 20 seconds, after World War II

39] What did N G Bhansai and Hancock design based on the actress Kamini Kaushal?
- The Filmfare Awards Trophy. Hey that looks like Kamini

44] Names such as 'Jot & Jerk', 'Mount & Show', 'Press & Peel', 'Papillon' etc were once proposed for this invention, later featured at the New York Museum of Modern Art as an icon of beautiful everyday design in its "Humble Masterpieces" exhibit. Name the invention.
- Post Its. This was answered by Jehangir

66-44

Not so long ago I had put up quiz number 8, I suppose. Then I went around on a trivia hunting spree and came up with 10 mor questions. Also I've been asked to collate questions for some upcoming B-School fest, the names which I cannot reveal. So the questions posted today are culled from that file, hence the weird numbering.

66] Eli Cohen, an Israeli spy based in Damascus disguised as a Syrian, was arguably Israeli’s most successfulspy ever. He passed on vital information about Syrian war plans and defense equipment during the 1960s, which played a key role in Israel’s spectacular victory against Syria during the six-day war. The exposure of his real identity and his subsequent arrest and execution, ironically, had an unintended Indian connection. What was the connection?

40] "Peace is a lie, there is only passion / Through passion, I gain strength / Through strength, I gain power / Through power, I gain victory/ Through victory, my chains are broken/ The Force shall free me." In popular culture/fiction, this is called "The ------- Code". What?

41] This residential area of lower Manhattan, New York gained a reputation in the early years of the 20th century for its bohemianism, and is associated with unconventional writers, artists and musicians, especially members of the Beat generation. What place are we talking about?

43] The original, dating back to 1952, is owned by Steven Spielberg, who has no intentions of selling it. Market buzz places the value of this item at $100,000 or higher. It is done largely in blue and has three people cowering up against a wall while a shadow lengthens in their direction. What are we talking about?

47] What are the specifications of the Field's Medal awarded to mathematicians? (Poor guys do not get the Nobel)

62] What is Fredrico Fellini's contribution to the English language?

72] For those who dwell in Wodehouse, if Jeeves is Wooster’s butler, who are the butlers of Lord Emsworth and Sir Watkyn Basset?

37] What was the Spruce Goose?

39] What did N G Bhansai and Hancock design based on the actress Kamini Kaushal?

BONUS

44] Names such as 'Jot & Jerk', 'Mount & Show', 'Press & Peel', 'Papillon' etc were once proposed for this invention, later featured at the New York Museum of Modern Art as an icon of beautiful everyday design in its "Humble Masterpieces" exhibit. Name the invention.

P- Anzers

1] Start off with a simple, standard music question. I know my 100 is safe so I'll hazard easy questions. Name the artist/bandlthat recorded this song: "They foxymophandlemama, that's me?"
- Pearl Jam

2] What is a violoncello?
-A cello, a bass instrument used in classical music. Keep tapping the G

3] From what platform does the 'Chattanooga Choo Choo' leave Pennsylvania station?
- 29, "Chattanooga Choo Choo" was a Glenn Miller big-band/swing song featured in the 1941 movie Sun Valley Serenade

4] For whom did Colonel Tom Parker act as manager?
- Elvis Presley. This one was very easy

5] In the Beatles song "Elanor Rigby", what is Elanor Rigby's profession?
- Church Cleaner, simple if she sweeps stuff from the church then she's gotta be a cleaner

6] Reginald Dwight:Norman Cook::-----------:-----------, gimme the names of these artistes.
- Elton John and Fatboy Slim

7] What can we credit DJ Kool Herc with?
-Inventing Rap music

8] Who was the first musician allowed to play an electric guitar on TV ?
- It was Tony Sheridan. He was the lead singer with 'The Beat Boys' comprising Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison and Pete Best! A curlig googly wasn't it?

9] Why has Motley Crue been banned from NBC?
- Crue will not appear on NBC again because of singer Vince Neil's use of obscenity when wishing bandmate Tommy Lee a Happy New Year on the Tonight show with Jay Leno. Americans are prudes, prudish in a soap dish. Tommy Lee is not the only bad boy now.

10] What are the three primary woods used in the construction of a Gibson Les Paul Standard Electric Guitar?
- The standard Les Paul uses mahogany for the body, over which you have a AA maple. The neck is also mahogany with a rosewood fingerboard. Very funda innit?

The bonus answers can still be cracked. For those who don't know the funda anyone who gets all the bonus answers. Gets Rs 500 at the end of the month.

If it ain't baroque, don't fix it, aka Woh Joe Quiz No. 8

The float never stops at the gate when you want it to. The gammar never sounds right when you think the line is perfect. Johnny Cash played a few songs that sounded great the rest are in the unheard universe. Just like the misty prime numbers the sentences in this post do not have a definite sequence. The music quiz that follows this is a little random, a little Beatles but largely boring. It's also a day old, fermenting in the folder that holds most of the quizzes on this new machine. The last hard disk crashed because of a surfeit of data. Someday work will catch up and then the dog will stop sniffing at my ankles. There you know I exist, incredulity doesn't cost anything. If you need a redundancy ask me.

1] Start off with a simple, standard music question. I know my 100 is safe so I'll hazard easy questions. Name the artist/bandlthat recorded this song: "They foxymophandlemama, that's me?"

2] What is a violoncello?

3] From what platform does the 'Chattanooga Choo Choo' leave Pennsylvania station?

4] For whom did Colonel Tom Parker act as manager?

5] In the Beatles song "Elanor Rigby", what is Elanor Rigby's profession?

6] Reginald Dwight:Norman Cook::-----------:-----------

7] What can we credit DJ Kool Herc with?

8] Who was the first musician allowed to play an electric guitar on TV ?

9] Why has Motley Crue been banned from NBC?

10] What are the three primary woods used in the construction of a Gibson Les Paul Standard Electric Guitar?

Bonus Question
Another Beatles question complete the following line- "Well here is another clue for you all-------------------------"

Just for Kicks

Here are the answers to the quiz, I know they're way overdue but a series of unfortunate events is the cause for this delay.
eM has an interesting music quiz up here. Go give it a shot I'll be putting up a music quiz meself right after this post. Dust those amps and string your guitars... why? Justfokix. The bonus question scheme holds.


1] "A good-----should have all the qualities of a pahalwan (strong man)". From this statement a Brand symbol was born. What?
-MRF tyres

2] The Daihatsu Midget was licensed to a company in India, what came off this agreement?
-Bajaj Autorickshaw

3] Complete the analogy Dynamic Vetor: Stripes::-----------:-----------?
-Reebok:Adidas (Come on this was easy)

4] Complete the list or rather start it ---------------, teamon.com, neomeo.com, responses.com, highku.com
-Hotmail.com, all Sabeer Bhatia companies

5] The 'lead' author of this book is an Indian actress and model. Name the book, the actress and also give the concept here. (Yes, there is one)
-Tara Deshpande, The Motive, it was a collaborative e-book. Guess no one wrote into into, or read into it.

6] This is for those hardcore business quiz walas. (Yes I can do that too) What first does HPCL (Hindustan Petro-Chemicals Limited) have to its credit?
- First PSU to be listed on the exchanges

7] This car's name comes from the lack of noise from its engine. What car are we talking about?
-Maruti Suzuki ZEN (Zero Engine Noise)

8] What's a FIDO?
- A coin that is stamped wrong in the mint. Guess its of more value than the denomination, all thanks to PT Barnum

9] This town in popular fiction gets its name from the solution of opium in alcohol. Gimme the name of the town?
- Laudanum from the Asterix, stupid

10] Who designs jewellery for the company called Artex?
-Priyanka Vadhera, her husband Robert Vadhera owns Artex who else would give her a job. Does designing have anything to with being Italian

Trivial At Best

I don't know what originality is. At one time I remember telling someone that it was 1 G and 4 T's only to be told that the description wasn’t original enough. Deja Vu is as much apart of my life as my fish scales or some German word which means fish scales. It seems that most of my ideas have been picked and used before, sometimes just a few days after I first thought of it. So I've given up on originality. You will never see this blog trying to do something out of the ordinary, it will stick to humdrum and record small bits of information only I and my balls are privy to. It will record the going-ons in the industry in which I'm employed, just like scores of other blogs around what has been so lovingly and unoriginally termed as the 'blogosphere', couldn't they have called it 'Blogaia' instead, or 'Blogosht', or ARCOB (A Random Collection Of Blogs). Wait!! I can’t suggest anything that is original.
There is a small little battle on, some sort of battle of wits because of the annual Indie Bloggies Award or some such. The regular biggies are slugging it out with a ‘vote for me’ post and other bloggers accusing these guys of being low and cheap and other, non-socialist behaviour. Come to think of it, being cheap is being socialist isn’t it? Yikes did I ruffle any feathers here? I hope not. I’m not a crusading blogger. Nor am I angst filled or sarcastic. I have no wit or vitriol at my disposal hence the nerdy “Quiz Posts”.
Did you guys know how the word geyser came into existence? It’s from Geysir, a thermal hotspot from Iceland. Oh I just gave that as a tidbit, it’s not to show how smart and wonderfully gifted I am. At best I’m blissfully trivial.
Those who came looking for the quiz, the previous post is the latest one and there is a twist to the bonus tail as well. Just scroll down you lovelies.

Who is Joe?

And on the seventh day God rested, I rested on the fifth, the sixth and the seventh. Then I sat on a quiz on the eighth, finally on the ninth I realised that I couldn't count that well. So unable to count I wore the barren day off (would somebody kill me for the line, anybody, dhiskyaauon).
You have till tomorow to get the answers and the 100 bucks are waiting. And yeah the funda behind the bonus question has become very interesting. At the end of the month, i.e. 31st Jan 2006 the first person to give me the answers of all the bonus questions will get 500 bucks, yup, you read right. All you need to do is collate the answer and get the monies. Of course this means that starting today I give no answers for the bonus questions.
So lets start off with the first quiz for the week.

1] "A good-----should have all the qualities of a pahalwan (strong man)". From this statement a Brand symbol was born. What?

2] The Daihatsu Midget was licensed to a company in India, what came off this agreement?

3] Complete the analogy Dynamic Vetor: Stripes::-----------:-----------?

4] Complete the list or rather start it ---------------, teamon.com, neomeo.com, responses.com, highku.com

5] The 'lead' author of this book is an Indian actress and model. Name the book, the actress and also give the concept here. (Yes, there is one)

6] This is for those hardcore business quiz walas. (Yes I can do that too) What first does HPCL (Hindustan Petro-Chemicals Limited) have to its credit?

7] This car's name comes from the lack of noise from its engine. What car are we talking about?

8] What's a FIDO?

9] This town in popular fiction gets its name from the solution of opium in alcohol. Gimme the name of the town?

10] Who designs jewellery for the company called Artex?

Bonus Question
Connect Mark Cuban, Martha Stewart, Tommy Hilfiger and Donald Trump

The answers to Q6 and I wonder...

Here are the answers to the easiest quiz in the series. Now I'm wondering whether to put one up right away or wait until Monday. Anyone want to play??

1] Connect Wimbledon, Wales and Snatch.
- Vinnie Jones. This hard man played football for Wimbledon in the season during which they won the FA cup, he was also part of the Welsh national football team. He later acted in Guy Ritchie movies Lock Stock and Snatch playing a hard hitman in those.


2] A sitter for any football follower. This nation, alongwith England has played international football for the longest period. Which national team are we talking about?
-Scotland

3] Yet another easy one. Who are the members of the G.I.R.L squad?
-Dee Dee, Mee Mee and Lee Lee. If you've watched your cartoons you'd know that Dee Dee is Dexter irritating elder sister. Mee Mee and Lee Lee, are her friends.

4] Connect John Frankenheimer, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Joe Carnahan and Tony Scott (some funda here)
- All directors of BMW films that won a lot of acclaim. Each film showcased the prowess of BMW cars. I have around 8 of these films with me, they're short films, anyone interested in a copy??

5] "Short, broad chested with a large head; small eyes and a thin grey beard, he had a flat nose and a swarthy complexion, showing the evidences of his origin" This description is used to describe which king?
-Atilla the Hun

6] "Fast and the Furious" had its characters playing a video game on their Playstation in a couple of scenes. What game was it?
- Grand Turismo 3

7] The US has the Big Foot, Nepal and India have the Yeti, what elusive legend does Australia have?
- The Bunyip

8] Lets hit some old world logic puzzle here "Five men are standing in a circle. They know they are wearing at least 2 white hats and at least 2 black hats. They do not know what colour hat they are wearing. How many of them will figure out what colour their hat is? Of course they aren't allowed to communicate in any manner whatsoever." (An old quiz circuit favourite)
- 2. Two men will see three hats of the same colour, and one hat of a different colour. Since they know there cannot be four hats with the same colour, they will know their hat colour is the same as the one man with the different coloured hat. The two people who see those colours will know their hat colour. The other three will see a balanced number of hat colours, so they won't know what colour their hat is.

9] How did the antibiotic Bacitracin get its name?
-Extarcted from the bacillus in Tracy's arm.

10] I don't think we've had a cricket question. So here's to rectify the error. An Australian team toured England in 1868, the first by any Australian cricket team. What as odd about the tour?
- The team consisted of only aborgine players and had to be smuggled into England as they didn't have the permissions required to travel.

Bonus

Why do I have a Bonus question instead of Question No 11?
- This one still awaits an answer